


I'm All Yours

by QuillMind



Series: Unfold [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Other, Reader-Insert, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-28 21:09:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7656838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuillMind/pseuds/QuillMind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a tactician's job to make sure everyone can work together as a cohesive unit.  You were succeeding in this task for the most part, except for with a gynophobic Myrmidon.  Unfortunately for him, you were determined to use every strategy you knew to get him to be all right in being around you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You Linger On Me

**Author's Note:**

> Yah! Finally I've gotten around to writing for my favourite character in FE:A!
> 
> The inspiration for this fic, as well as the title and chapter names come from the song ["Show Me" by Alina Baraz feat. Galimatias.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDugIEoFU9M) Her voice and her album, Urban Flora, are so beautiful. <3

"Good morning, Lon'qu!" you said cheerfully, grinning from ear to ear.  As tactician, you had taken it upon yourself to greet every single of the Shepherds each morning.  If anyone was sick or unwell, or had concerns or suggestions regarding their next course of action, you wanted to be the first to know, so that you could then adjusted your plans around them. 

Unfortunately, your gynophobic Myrmidon wasn't taking to your habit all that well.  Lon'qu cringed and took a few steps away from you, visibly aggravated from you suddenly surprising him from behind. 

"What in blazes are you doing sneaking up on me like that, woman!?" he nearly shouted, teeth gritting  and sweat forming on his skin. 

You frowned, putting your hands on your hips.  "Well, you didn't exactly like my fig attack... plus Stahl and Frederick said I shouldn't be wasting food... So I figured I'd be stealthy instead!" 

"You call that stealthy?  Yelling in my ear like that?"

"I didn't yell!  And I was behind you for several seconds and you didn't know it!  Soon I'll work up to hug attacks!"

"Don't you dare," Lon'qu ground out, his face turning pink.  "No more stealth attacks!  And no... hug attacks either, for that matter!"  He then spun on his heel and briskly walked away. 

You huffed and folded your arms.  It was true that everyone had something that they weren't good at--Nowi and patience, Sumia and graceful poise, Gaius and eating sugar-free foods.  But to fight as a proper unit, for one of your Shepherds to have a serious aversion to being near women was a serious  concern.  You had hoped that you were making some progress with Lon'qu, for lately he had not been as stiff and terrified of women as he had been when he first joined the Shepherds, and it seemed like after your fruit assault and making goofy faces during sparring sessions had gotten the two of you much closer together.  But clearly he was not yet cured of his phobia. 

You wanted very much to help the swordsman with his problem.  Not only was it an obstacle for the Shepherds, but on a personal level, Lon'qu was sure to be unhappy with it as well.  He was a warrior who took pride in his strength and skill, and to have even one weakness, quite a serious one, at that, must be a sore point for him. 

You decided to try asking your fellow Shepherds to see if they had any ideas. 

****

**GAIUS**

"He's a real sucker for punishment, that one.  Likes to train way too hard.  If you ask me, he's just going to burn through energy, and then he'll be sorry for not having some candy on hand!" 

"Are you sure you want him to like candy?  Then there might be less for you."

"You're totally right, Bubbles.  Tell him if you see him that sweets are evil, and if he sees any he should give them to me for disposal!"

* * *

 

**THARJA**

"Whoever cursed him must have used very powerful magic," the sorceress muttered in her dry, sardonic tone.  "I would have liked to have learned from them."

"I don't think magic was involved in this case," you said, trying to manage a smile. 

Tharja slowly twisted her head at various angles to stare at you, like an inquisitive raptor.  "...Is he causing you trouble?  I can always hex him so that his eyes fall out of his head, or turn him into a slug--"

"No, that's fine.  Don't do that.  Please."

* * *

 

**MIRIEL**

The studious mage pushed her spectacles up on her nose and she looked up from her book.  "He is a curious one, that Myrmidon.  Powerful and focused in the art of the sword, and possessing of sharp senses and awareness.  However fearful he may be of human females, he is able to put aside his affliction when danger is near.  On previous occasions when I nearly walked off the edge of a cliff or into the path of a cart whilst reading, he grabbed my arm and pulled me to safety, proving himself to be an effective protector." 

Your brow furrowed as you took this in.  "Well, we knew it's not like he was physically incapable of being near women... And he did manage to protect Lissa from the assassination attempt, even taking an arrow in the gut for it.  Oh, darn it, I have to get going now, I'm due to meet Chrom to discuss our travel plans."

"Then do not let me keep you," Miriel said primly.  "I do have some Plegian scripture that I would like to translate, so I ought to tend to that."

"Ah, that reminds me!"  Reaching into your pocket, you pulled out a small glass bottle.  "When we stopped at the last town, I saw a shop selling paper and writing implements.  This ink is supposed to be fast-drying and resistant to bleeding--I remembered you mentioning that we could use some better ink for writing." 

Miriel was not the excitable type, so her expression did not change drastically, but she was clearly pleasantly surprised.  "I am impressed  that you took note of my minor concern," she said, holding the bottle up to the light.  "I hope that with this I will be able to avoid losing precious data to water stains and fading.  Thank you."

"You're welcome," you smiled.  "Let me know if there's anything else you need."  You started to head for the exit to the tent.

"Do keep me updated on the details of your experiments with Lon'qu.  I would be most intrigued to see what steps are required to cure a man of such a phobia."

"I'll keep notes, Miriel."

"It would help if you added illustrations as well.  Visual aids are invaluable in cataloguing experiments."

"Um, I wasn't being serious, Miriel."

"I was."

* * *

 

**VIRION**

"I cannot fathom the idea of a man being repulsed by women!  Why would anyone not want to find themselves in the company of a fine lady?" 

"Can you think of a way for a man to become more comfortable in being around women?"

Virion sighed and theatrically rested his face against his hand.  "I suppose the main thing is practice.  He could observe others successfully doing what he cannot, and then start with trying to mimic that."

Your mouth turned down as you considered the odds of this happening.  "I doubt that Lon'qu would be willing to go along with that--if it were left up to him, he would probably just avoid women for the rest of his life." 

Virion shook his head in disapproval like a schoolteacher would to a difficult pupil.  "Again, it is absolutely bizarre to me that he would prefer to do this.  You could also consider exposure therapy--simply throw him into a room full of women and lock the door until he finally gets over his fear!  Most men would kill for such a chance!"

You huffed and swept your hair back in frustration.  "Lon'qu might kill to _not_ have that chance."

Virion studied you for a moment and adopted a serious tone.  "You're quite concerned about him, aren't you?  I can tell you are devoting a lot of thought to him." 

"No more than I would to anyone else," you asserted, resting your chin on folded hands.  "I just want to be able to help him."

The corner of the elegant archer's lips curved upwards as he looked at you.  "For his sake, I do hope he will notice how fortunate he is sooner rather than later."

You snapped out of your musings and turned back to Virion.  "Sorry, what was that?"

"Oh, by the way, checkmate."

"Wait, what?"

* * *

 

**NOWI**

"I like Lon'qu!  He's funny and cute!" 

You blinked several times.  "Funny and cute?  I would have never imagined either of those words being associated with Lon'qu."

Nowi nodded enthusiastically as she rocked back and forth on her feet.  "Whenever he's around girls, he gets so red and stammery, like a bouncing tomato!  And butterflies like him!"

"Butterflies?"

"Uh-huh!  I've seen them resting on his sword when he's on cooking duty, and this other time when he was napping by the river, a pretty blue one landed on his head!  I wanted to take a closer look at it, but then I woke up Lon'qu by accident and it flew away and I think he was a bit mad that I interrupted his nap."

"Hang on, you were close enough to Lon'qu to wake him up, and he didn't panic or become afraid?  How did that happen?" 

Nowi put a finger to her lips and cocked her head from side to side while she looked into the distance to think.  "Umm, maybe he was okay because he doesn't see me as a girl?  You know, like how he does okay with Cordelia, Sully, and Cherche because he can see them as fellow warriors?  I think since I'm tiny and don't have much of a chest, he just sees me as a kid."

"Hmm," you said to yourself, tapping your foot distractedly. 

"But I kind of don't mind when Lon'qu sees me that way--he's not being mean about it or anything."  The young (in some ways) Manakete spread her thin arms out and spun around in circles, a big grin on her face.  "It's so nice being here with you guys!  It's like a big, giant family!  I've never had one before, so I love it!" 

You couldn't help but chuckle at Nowi's innocent joy.  "That's good.  I love being with the Shepherds, too.  I don't remember anything before meeting Chrom, so as far as I know, this is the only family I have." 

"So, does that mean I can call you my sister?" 

A warmth spread inside of you at the notion.  Perhaps you did have a sister in the past, along with brothers, aunts, uncles and grandparents.  You might never find out.  But here and now, you had plenty of people to think of as your friends and family. 

"Of course!" you said warmly. 

"Yay!" Nowi exclaimed as she bounded into your arms for a hug.  You laughed and wrapped your arms tightly around her, appreciative of her infectious cheerfulness. 

When you separated, Nowi stared at you for a moment thoughtfully before her cheeks puffed and she pouted, "You know, Sis, I wish I could get a grown-up's body soon and be like you!  It'd be nice to have a big chest!"

You blushed and laughed nervously at the sudden change in topic.  "Wh-what are you talking about?  My chest isn't that big!" 

"No, Tharja's got the biggest dairy pillows, but yours are up there!"

"Dairy pillows!?"

"That's what Vaike called them!"

* * *

 

**GREGOR**

"You wish to train under Gregor?" the hulking mercenary asked in his accented speech. 

"Yes, I do.  It's come to my attention that my sword skills could use some work, and I was hoping you could give me some pointers." 

"Ha-ha, pointers you shouldn't want, hurt, pointers will!  But joke aside, Gregor lessons is not easy, just warning?" 

"I don't expect it to be easy," you answered with a wry grin.  "I heard that you once fought Basilio to become the West-Khan of Ferox."  A metallic jingle was made as you held up a bag of coins from your personal stash.  "This would be a personal favour to me, so... I do have money to pay you for your time." 

Gregor waved his hand dismissively.  "No, no, no need!  You're good tactician and good person to the Shepherds!  Gregor would be honoured to help you improve sword."

* * *

 

**SULLY**

"Ways that I make myself a better fighter?" Sully repeated your question with a raised eyebrow. 

"I was just curious for your input.  You are one of the most skilled combatants we have, after all, and I thought you might have a unique perspective as a female Cavalier." 

Sully cast her eyes skyward as she spun her lance over and around her with ease while you kept at a safe distance her the whirling blade. 

"Well, for one, I don't worry myself with makeup or jewels or hairstyling.  Having paint on your face can just make you sweatier in the heat, earrings can get snagged on several things during a battle, and long hair is just added weight and a hindrance to your vision.  It is a pain in the ass to have tits, though, so I like to bind them up before I put on my clothes and armour to not have them bounce around as much.  The only downside there is the sweat that gathers in the valley--real gross after a long skirmish, I tell ya.  But no pain, no gain, right?"

"Huh," was all you could say, your mind churning with thoughts. 

A sharp swoop, and Sully halted her lance, the blade pointed toward the sky.  "Anyway, it's still not as much work as it takes to be a 'proper lady,' you know?  Every morning I'm out of bed and into my armour in minutes.  Maribelle takes over an _hour_ before she leaves her tent, can you believe that?  I've done more than half of my training drills by that time!"

"Well, Maribelle is not quite as used to the life on the road like some of us," you said diplomatically, "but her skills as a healer are to be commended." 

"Sure, but she should maybe cut down on the number of dresses and cosmetics she insists on bringing with her.  We need that wagon space for weapons and food!"

"I'll try to bring it up with her," you promised. 

****

Lon'qu would have continued to train for longer if he could, but the sun had gone down, and there was only a sliver of a moon out tonight, making it far too dark.  A final powerful swing of his Killing Edge buried the blade deep into the tree he had been practicing on, the trunk mutilated with a myriad of slashes that left it bald from its bark.  Leaves shook loose from the impact and fluttered to the ground meekly. 

Lon'qu was panting with effort, having continued with nonstop training for the last several hours, but unlike normal where he would conclude with a controlled feeling of satisfaction, he was still restless and irritable. 

It was your fault. 

Lon'qu had accepted his appointment to the Shepherds without complaint.  Seeing as how Chrom had been the one to defeat the strange swords _man_ known as 'Marth' that he had failed to, it was the logical course of action that he serve the Ylissean Prince in his cause.  To be honest, he had been looking forward to the idea of joining a band of experienced warriors. 

How mortified he had been when he discovered that there were so many women among the Shepherds.  It was one thing for the odd cleric or mage to be present, but to include a female Taguel and Manakete as well?  Not to mention the flimsily-clad dancer or the even showier witch who was the walking definition of creepy. 

Though the Shepherds were under Chrom's command, Lon'qu felt that you were the one responsible for this rag-tag blend of characters.  After he had joined, the number of Shepherds only continued to grow as you drew them in with your shrewd strategies and open heart, not giving a care about others' background or race, only seeing in them the potential to do good and be a defender of the people. 

You had admirable qualities, Lon'qu had to admit.  You were smart, courageous, impressive with magic and decent with a sword, and your battle tactics had led the Shepherds to many victories.  On top of that you sincerely cared for each of your comrades like they were the closest of friends.  That earned you his respect.

But as time went on, he was beginning to find aspects of your personality annoying.  You were stubborn, nosy, and weird, throwing figs at him, always trying to get closer to him and demanding sparring sessions in an effort to fix his issue with women.  Surely you could have been spending your time improving your swordplay, or coming up with new strategies; instead, you ran across the fields with Nowi, collected flowers with Sumia and Lissa, made fishing lures with Donnel, requested questionable amounts of bear meat for something to do with Frederick, and participating in silly, womanly activities that Maribelle insisted upon such as perfecting posture, dancing, wearing dresses and makeup. 

How ridiculous you had looked then, awkwardly swishing around in silks and heeled shoes, straining to breathe due to the sadistic contraption Maribelle had called a 'corset' that strangled your waist and plumped up your breasts to such a degree that the tops of them jiggled like pudding with your every move.  Your lips had been painted berry red and coloured powder was applied to your eyelids that made you look strange in a manner that Lon'qu refused to think about, and he had then had to leave the area. 

And then there was that time when you had tried dancing with Olivia, wanting to help the shy girl with her stage fright but also figuring that two dancers might be better than one to work up the morale of the troops.  Lon'qu had been livid that night to see you, dressed in shimmery, gauzy material that in some obscene minds apparently constituted an outfit, gold bangles and chains producing their own tinkling music as you and Olivia danced around the roaring fire to an equally lively beat.  Olivia's moves had been more precise, but you were far more freed in the exhilaration of dance, laughing as you shook your hips and undulated your bare stomach to appreciative cheers and applause.  Lon'qu found himself wanting to speed off in any direction away from there, but had been frozen to the spot. 

More recently, though, you had been spending less time pestering him with sneak attacks and more time with the male Shepherds, including Chrom and Frederick, but Gregor most of all.  From what he could tell, you were sparring with them; a reasonable enough activity that was also a necessity to keep the Shepherds in top form.  Yet somehow it nagged at him, like a loose thread on a shirt, that you had barely bothered him with requests to spar with him anymore, but still he saw you now and again, talking animatedly with whichever of those men about techniques and styles. 

You were becoming an exponentially greater source of aggravation for Lon'qu.  Your eyes that looked straight into his, the way you chewed your lip while you poured hours into looking over maps and battle plans, how you chattered on to him about inane things in an effort to get him to smile, and how you sometimes managed to succeed in this, the way you preyed on his mind and made him feel squirmy (a Myrmidon, _squirmy!?_ ) and lacking in his wits, like the ground was falling out from beneath him. 

Most puzzling of all was how this was not happening with the other women.  Not to say that Lon'qu was comfortable with the rest of the female Shepherds, but he was slowly adapting to being in their presence (albeit with some generous breathing room between himself and them).  His entire body would still be tense, and it took much of his resolve to keep from backing away whenever interacting with them, but he was managing.  You, on the other hand, were another matter entirely. 

 _Damn you,_ he thought harshly. 

Wrenching his Killing Edge from the tree with a barely-restrained snarl, Lon'qu whipped the blade through the air before returning it to its sheath.  He violently ran his hand through his hair as though it would clear his head of you, and started to trudge back to camp. 

You may have been the Shepherd's tactician, but Lon'qu felt that you were even more of a dark sorceress than Tharja.

****

A heavy sigh left your lips as you eased set your toiletries on the stool by the bath.  Gregor had not been exaggerating when he said his training would not be easy--every time you ended a session with him, you were soaked in sweat and covered in bruises and scratches.  Your muscles ached terribly, and you kept wincing with most movements that you made. 

That said, you were seeing results.  Your swings were sharper, and your guard had improved so that you were not left as open when striking.  Improving your prowess with a blade was not only making you a better fighter for the Shepherds, it gave you more appreciation for the other swordsmen that were masters at their disciplines. 

Especially for a certain Myrmidon. 

You removed your clothes and gingerly stepped into the bath, hissing as you submerged yourself.  Once you were sitting, you moaned in relief and let your head fall back against the lip of the tub. 

The bath was simple and crude, and only one of the two tubs that the women's bathing tent had.  The men's tent had the same number, but for speed and convenience, most of the men chose to use whatever river or lake was the closest to them at the time. 

You allowed yourself a few minutes to simply soak in the hot water before reaching for your soap and hair cleanser and beginning the task of washing yourself.  You noticed that your bottle of hair cleanser was nearly empty; you regularly used a fair bit, since your hair was long. 

A couple of dunks under the surface to rinse the suds off of you, and you got out of the tub and toweled yourself off.  An old, faded mirror was kept by the tent wall, and you stood in front of it to look at your reflection. 

Steam billowed over your naked form, something you normally did not pay attention to, but suddenly felt particularly conscious of.  The active life of a Shepherd had given you a toned and trim physique, though you did not have the musculature of Sully, Cordelia or Cherche.  Aside from the bruises and cuts that you gained from your training, your skin was unblemished, but your face was tanned, and you felt your complexion lacked the smoothness of Maribelle's rose petal-soft cheeks.  You squinted and saw the tiniest spray of freckles across your nose as well.  When had that happened? 

Your gaze lowered to your breasts, and you gripped your towel tighter.  Since your memories began with that fateful day when Chrom found you in the field, you had no way of knowing how you had dealt with your growth from adolescence to adulthood, but you had never given much thought to your body's features.  They were just _there_ , there wasn't much else to consider.  You moved a hand to cup one breast and lift it gently.  There was a decent bit of weight, and the flesh was soft and springy.  You supposed they were on the larger side--As Nowi had said, Tharja's were the largest, but you and Olivia were close behind.  Everyone else wore modest clothing that kept their chests covered, but your tunic that you wore beneath your robe was on the low-cut side, exposing a fair bit of cleavage.  You had been fine with it before, as the openness kept you cool even when wearing your thick robe, but self-doubt was beginning to creep up on you like brambles. 

Without any conscious thought, your hand drifted to your pink nipple and danced around it with your fingers.  Lon'qu's face appeared in your mind.  The tiny nub hardened, and you swallowed hard as a discomforting sensation bloomed in your lower abdomen.  You pulled your hand away as though it had been burned, and you wrapped your body up in your towel tightly. 

You sniffled and cleared your throat, then conviction washed over you as you went to retrieve a dagger from your belongings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't intend on this being a two-parter, but it became so long that I just had to break it up. Seems like I have serious difficulty writing stories shorter than 3000 words...


	2. It's What You Do To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so remember how I said this was going to be just a two-parter? I lied. Hopefully I can keep it to no more than three parts, though!

The shrill sound of Maribelle's scream sent birds fleeing from their perches. 

"I don't believe you!" the young Troubador exclaimed in horror, "How could you do such a thing!?" 

You sighed as you tried to dispel the ringing from your ears by shaking your head.  "I just thought it was the sensible thing to do," you said. 

" _Sensible?_   What's sensible about a woman, even one as unrefined as yourself, cutting off their hair?" 

Several of the other Shepherds had already seen your new look this morning, but Maribelle's noisy reaction was starting to gather the others as well.  Surprised murmurs buzzed around as your friends looked at you, your once long and abundant locks severed short. 

"Well, it was becoming impractical, since I had to use so much hair cleanser, and the time I took to dry and comb it could have been used for planning strategies!  This way, my head's so much lighter, my neck stays cool, and I don't have to worry about split ends or tangles!" 

Maribelle was still not mollified.  "It looks so uncouth, though!  Like you didn't even use proper shears--did you cut it with a knife?" 

You scratched your head and averted your eyes, "Ah, well, it was what I had on hand at the time, so..." 

"Unbelievable!  Well, I suppose that would be the way that suits you, given your adherence to lowborn ways."  Maribelle planted her hands on her hips and shook her head, her immaculate blond ringlets bouncing around. 

"But your hair was so nice!" Lissa whined, "It's such a waste." 

"I did donate the hair to a wigmaker in town," you said, pulling on a stray lock that was tickling your cheek, "so I'm sure it will be put to even better use than it was on me."

Chrom stepped closer to you, chuckling.  "Pragmatic to the end," he said.  "I actually think this new look suits you." 

"If you were a guy, maybe!" Vaike joked, earning him a punch in the back of his skull from Sully.

"I approve of your tactical reasoning for doing this," Frederick crisply nodded.  "Long hair can obstruct one's vision and lead to an easily-avoidable defeat." 

"It can be a real hassle getting hair stuck on wet candy," Gaius deadpanned through a mouthful of his breakfast lollipop, "trust me, I know." 

You enjoyed some more lighthearted chatter about your short hair as the camp became more active and awake, and though you responded to everyone who spoke to you, one of your eyes couldn't help but scan the crowd for something, someone.  Then you caught sight of Lon'qu, who was some distance away, having just returned from his early morning training exercises.  He was staring at you in disbelief, like you had just grown a second head. 

You would have noticed your heart speeding up if it were for the fact that your gaze was locked onto him.  You tried a friendly smile, not knowing what else to do, only to receive a cold glare in return before Lon'qu turned and walked away. 

It took a sizeable amount of self-control on your part to not call for him. 

****

"There!" you shouted as you froze Chrom in place, the tip of your blade pointing at his neck. 

The young Lord's chest heaved as he caught his breath, a roguish grin spreading across his face.  "You win," he said, clearly impressed with you. 

You beamed and lowered your sword, offering your hand to his.  Without hesitation, he grabbed you with a firm grip, and you pulled him to his feet, grunting with effort. 

"You've been practicing, I see," Chrom said, wiping the sweat from his brow as he sheathed Falchion.

"Just a little," you said lightly, panting between sentences.  "Gregor's taught me a few tricks here and there." 

"Hey, are you all right?" Chrom asked as you wobbled a little. 

"I'm fine, fine--just a bit winded, is all." 

"Are you sure?  Your face is kind of pale, and you're sweating a lot.  Why don't you at least open your robe, you must be hot." 

You swallowed hard and worked up your strength to steady yourself.  "Don't worry, Chrom!  You just gave me a run for my money, that's all!  Apparently Gregor's training was exactly what I needed to get my soft tactician butt in shape!"  Off of Chrom's worried look, you cocked your head and adopted a sly tone, "Or is this just an excuse to get me to open my robe and show you more skin?"

The young Lord's face blushed bright pink.  "O-of course not!  And don't try to change the subject."  He held your shoulders and became serious, despite the embarrassment still colouring his cheeks.  "I don't want you falling ill, do you hear me?  You are not just our tactician and a fellow Shepherd, you are my friend."

Your attention coalesced at the sincerity in Chrom's voice as he held you.  "Thank you, Chrom.  I'm happy to have you as my friend."  You took his hands in yours and gave a gentle squeeze.  "You know, I suppose I owe my life to you, for finding me in the field that day." 

Chrom laughed, a sound that you had grown to like a great deal.  "I don't think you were in any mortal danger by sleeping on the grass like that." 

"All the same, I feel that I have a place I belong because of you.  So I will do everything I can to protect you and the Shepherds, I swear it." 

Now you felt Chrom's hands squeeze back.  "So do I." 

****

Plans had been made for the Shepherds to move through a known hazardous area of the Plegian desert.  There had been multiple reports of a band of ruthless bandits raiding the villages in that area, but due to the remote area they were located in, few had ventured there to help.  So of course you and Chrom had agree to step in and take care of the bandits. 

You had some time before the troops departed, so you decided to take a walk to the nearby river.  The afternoon sun was diluted by the thick emerald canopy of the trees, and dots of sunlight flickered across the grass as the wind rustled by. 

The breeze was cool on your bare neck, something you had yet to get used to.  Mindful of the trees' roots, you carefully walked by with the thought of sitting against a large oak by the riverbank, when you saw that the spot was already occupied. 

Lon'qu lay there on the grass, one arm behind his head while the other was by his side near his sword, fast asleep.  Your eyes widened to see him here, shaded by the tree and looking so utterly... peaceful, like a newborn.  Though his features were obviously still the same, with his sharp chin and well-defined brows, his face was relaxed and he was not scowling as he often did. 

Tiptoeing through the grass, you got closer and leaned forward to look at the Myrmidon.  His dark hair was scruffy and he had lots of it, and you thought of how fun it would be to run your fingers through it like a big wolf's fur.  You only saw now that he had remarkably thick lashes--why was it that men always got much longer eyelashes, you wondered with envy. 

A pale yellow blur stole your attention away, and you turned your head to see a tiny butterfly flitting towards you.  Your mouth opened in a wide "O" as you watched the delicate insect dance through the air, making its way to Lon'qu as if that were its plan all along, and finally landed on his head. 

You were amazed at this idyllic scene.  Nowi had been right--not to say that you thought she was lying, but who could have imagined that the sullen swordsman was such an irresistible resting spot for butterflies?  You held your breath and covered your mouth with your hands, not eager to interrupt this moment any time soon. 

It was not meant to continue, however, as Lon'qu's eyelids twitched and opened slowly, fluttering the same way the butterfly's wings did as it left its no longer unmoving platform and flew away.  He grunted and rolled his head to the side, where he saw your face within arm's reach of his own. 

"Arggh!" he yelled, snatching up his sword and scrambling to his feet.  "Why do you insist on startling me, woman!" 

"I-I'm sorry!" you apologized, holding your palms up innocently.  "I wasn't trying to do a sneak attack on you that time, I swear!  I just happened to be walking by here, and I noticed you sleeping."  You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from grinning at how red and flustered he looked. 

"I'm becoming convinced that you delight in tormenting me," he grumbled, wiping the sleep out of his eyes and fastening his sword to his side.  "I'm returning to camp." 

Your mouth was moving before the thought was organized.  "Wait, Lon'qu!" 

He stopped in his tracks, pivoting to look back at you.  The river bubbled in the background to fill the silence.

"Spar with me?" you said, fighting to keep the nervousness out of your voice. 

"I don't have any practice swords on me." 

"We can use what we have.  Sometimes it's good to train with the real thing, isn't it?"

You weren't sure if it was your imagination or not that Lon'qu stiffened in response.  His eyes narrowed at you, and his lips thinned as if weighing his options, but he seemed somewhat angry, whereas before he had always agreed, never one to pass up a chance to test his skills. 

"Fine," he said finally, drawing his Killing Edge and adopting a stance.  You did the same, exhaling air slowly through puckered lips. 

He moved first, cutting through the grass and swinging his blade at a ferocious speed.  You turned and blocked the slash with your blade, steel and steel crying out as they clashed.  Lon'qu's teeth were bared as he pushed back, sending a volley of slashes that you deflected nimbly.  He was visibly taken aback; you _had_ improved. 

You let yourself have a smirk for a second as you thrust forward, forcing him to pivot to the side and whip back around to strike at your back--the exact move Gregor had told you to expect.  You dipped low to the ground and kicked at the side of Lon'qu's knee, eliciting a curt grunt and a falter in his stance.  But he recovered faster than you anticipated, and roared with renewed drive as he sent his silver blade down.  A quick somersault over the grass with your feet smacking into the pebbly shore of the river, and you recovered to stand ready again. 

Lon'qu approached with a dizzying combination of slashes and strikes, which you managed to parry, but were beginning to struggle with.  With each maneuver, the two of you progressed deeper into the river until the current sloshed against your thighs, and you were not used to dealing with the drag the water held on your body.  Energy was being sapped from you much faster, and soon you were no longer attacking, just barely defending from Lon'qu's assault.  You tried to keep your breathing steady, but under the circumstances it was far too taxing on you, and your form began to slacken, your sword easily being beaten back by your opponent. 

It was all you could do to back away, going deeper into the river with clumsy steps.  Your foot then slipped on a large rock and your eyes widened with shock as your legs failed you. 

On reflex, your face became awash with fear as your body was being taken down unexpectedly, hardly registering the sight of Lon'qu's aggression melt away to confusion, then a fear that mirrored yours as he saw the sudden, steep drop-off into deeper water directly behind you. 

His hand shot out and grabbed your robe by the collar, yanking you back towards him with such force that you thought your neck might snap.  In an instant your face was inches away from his, then lost as you both fell backwards into the water with a loud splash. 

You gasped as you shot back up again, drenched and coughing painfully, clutching at your chest.  Something moved beneath you, and the dark form that was Lon'qu burst through the surface of the water, desperately swallowing air.  He blinked the wetness away from his eyes, then upon realizing that you were sitting on top of him, turned crimson and shoved you away in the direction of shallower water, his jaw set. 

He got to his feet, water cascading off of him in rapid streams.  Somehow he had managed to keep ahold of his sword, the fist around it so tight that it looked as though the grip might shatter. 

"Does your recklessness know no bounds!?" he shouted furiously. 

Your head was swimming as you tried to catch your breath, your nose stinging terribly from the water that had gone in there.  "I... I'm sorry, I--"

Lon'qu snapped his head away from you as he sheathed his sword.  You saw that his hands were shaking.  "You should stick to tactics.  What sort of swordsman is so lacking in awareness of their surroundings?  Not to mention doing something as superfluous as wearing perfume during a fight--"

Your brow furrowed in confusion.  "I'm not wearing any--"

Without waiting for an answer, Lon'qu snarled and turned his back to you, dragging himself through the water back to shore. 

"Lon'qu!" you yelled louder and more firmly than you had the first time, and the strength in your voice was what got him to turn his head back to you, though resentfully. 

You had gotten to your feet, your shoulders slouched in defeat and shame, but also the weight of your river-soaked clothes. 

"Is... Is it that awful for you to be around me?" you asked, failing at keeping from sounding at least a little pitiful. 

The river that coursed around the two of you did not have a rapid current.  It could hardly be considered loud; yet for you it suddenly seemed deafening. 

"What do I need to do to make you feel at ease?" you said, unsure if the question was being asked by you as a tactician or as something else. 

To your surprise, Lon'qu looked stunned by your question.  A complex collection of emotions swept through his features so fast that they looked twisted, until one recognizable one came to the fore: anger.  His mouth opened and closed a few times, hesitantly, until finally he spoke. 

"I will _never_ feel at ease around you," he said.  Then he turned around for the last time, stomping through the river as though he were trying to beat it down with his feet. 

You would not have imagined that your breathing could be more constricted before, but you were proven very wrong.  Amidst the river water that dripped off of you, a tiny amount of it was warm and salty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hadn't planned on making Lon'qu this angry... but I guess this is how he wants it to play out. :p


	3. Unwind Me With Your Mind Tonight

It had only been a week since Lon'qu's sparring session with you, but now in the Plegian desert, with the sun screaming down on you and the horizon rendered wobbly from the heat, being soaked in the river water felt like a lifetime ago.  Most of the Shepherds had been quiet during the journey, too drained to be talkative.  Even Lissa and Maribelle, who had been quite vocal in their opinions on the scorching temperatures, had not said much for the past couple of days, trying to rest in the shade of one of the horse-drawn wagons.  Lon'qu himself was hardly a fan of hot temperatures, being so used to the frigid weather of Ferox, but as a warrior he found it pointless to keep complaining, and so remained silent. 

In an effort to cover more ground as well as offer respite to the Shepherds that were not doing as well, you had split up to take different routes to the villages, with your group consisting of Chrom, Gregor, Vaike, Nowi, Tharja, Cherche and Lon'qu taking the fastest path to serve as the vanguard.  You had formed the groups based purely on strategic balance and included some of your strongest fighters--if personal preference were prioritized, you would have not included yourself in whatever group Lon'qu was in. 

Every now and then he stole a glance at you, riding your horse in the front next to Chrom.  You had not tried to engage with Lon'qu ever since that day, and the few times that you did need to communicate with him, you did not meet his eyes, and spoke with a flat voice, keeping a considerable distance as a buffer between you two.  You performed your duties as usual, but your actions lacked colour, inspiration, life.  When asked by others if you were doing all right, you brushed it off as being tired from staying up late in the night to work, and that perhaps you were coming down with a cold. 

This certainly seemed believable to Lon'qu, as you had been looking pale lately, and were not as physically energetic as normal.  Sometimes he caught you wincing and hunching over as if in pain. 

But he did not go to you, fighting the tugging urge inside of him.  That role was reserved for Chrom, after all. 

It was hardly surprising, considering the amount of time you and the young Lord spent together, displaying great chemistry that paved the way for impeccable coordination and harmony both on the battlefield and off, that you and he would develop feelings for each other.  Lon'qu had thought the two of you might be lovers for some time, considering how often and intimately you would speak with Chrom, even if it was to discuss military strategies.  At camp you were frequently seen together, and hardly ever apart during battle.  When he had seen you that day with Chrom after your sparring session, holding each other's hands and standing so close to each other, whispering what could only be words of affection, his suspicions had been confirmed. 

It was why your inexplicable preoccupation with him was all the more infuriating.  He felt your focus on him went beyond what it did for the rest of the Shepherds, oftentimes showing hints of trying to bewitch him.  When you had cut your hair short it had shocked him, but he was even more bewildered to find a new point of intrigue in seeing the lines of your slender neck.  Not only that, the way you smelled to him the moment before you both fell into the river, and then how you stared pleadingly at him with droplets of moisture falling from every corner of you left his usually ordered mind in total disarray. 

He cursed you.  He couldn't get his mind off of you.  And that vexed him even more--yet still he found himself searching for you whenever they were in a crowd. 

****

By the time you arrived at the village, you were having trouble focusing, and you were constantly having to wipe the sweat off of your face with your sleeve.  You had been conserving your strength as much as possible, and even when dismounting your horse you did so slowly, wary of becoming dizzy again. 

It was at that moment that the bandits chose to ambush you, revealing themselves hiding among the scraggly desert flora, behind boulders bleached blindingly white with the sun, along the tall, rocky cliffs that loomed above, and within the village itself, some of them holding the residents hostage.  With barking laughter, they demanding your surrender. 

A calm came over you as you gripped your sword in one hand and a magic tome in the other.  "I don't think so," you said dangerously. 

From high above, Cherche swooped down on Minerva to knock out several of the marauders while Tharja hurled Nosferatu at the hostage-takers with pinpoint accuracy, leaving the villagers unharmed.  Vaike kept Cherche protected from the archers with his axe, Nowi in her dragon form breathed searing flames to herd the bandits to Gregor and Chrom's waiting blades, and Lon'qu took on the leader of the brigands while you provided close-range backup with your spells and sword.  In a matter of minutes, the bandits were decimated by your efficient tactics, and the Shepherds stood victorious. 

Vaike whooped for joy, flipping his axe in the air, and Nowi screeched happily (or at least, you presumed it was a happy sound) while she flew figure eights in the sky.  You, on the other hand, were not so jovial.  The sudden exertion under the unforgiving sun, combined with the fires of Nowi's breath cutting across the ground were practically bringing you to your knees. 

Sighing, you dragged your head up to see Lon'qu up ahead...

And the two remaining bandits that were behind him, their swords raised. 

There was no rational plan running through your mind, no consideration for consequences.  You mustered up what remained of your mental faculties and cast a final Thoron spell, but due to your exhaustion, the lightning was lackluster and only succeeded in temporarily disorienting the bandits.  Throwing the tome aside, you swung your sword hard and met flesh and bone to topple the one closer to you.  There was a grisly spray of blood which you ignored by turning to look at Lon'qu. 

But you had left your back wide open to the second bandit, who yelled in fury and brought down his blade.  He had miscalculated in his surprise and anger, so his attack was not lethal, but your body shook and blared with pain nonetheless when his sword cut into your side. 

It was the straw that broke the camel's back, and your strength gave out, legs turning to water and vision weakening.  You could feel the hot and dusty ground burning through your robe as you collapsed onto it, barely registering the sight of Lon'qu, who was cutting the bandit apart with blindingly fast slashes so vicious that there was more red than blue sky.  Your mind faded, and you closed your eyes. 

Chrom was yelling your name as he and the other Shepherds rushed to your side, but you heard neither it nor Lon'qu's frenzied voice calling for you, and you could not feel him snatching your body up into his arms. 

"Wake up, damn it!" the Myrmidon shouted, a numb chill spreading inside of his despite the desert heat.  His demands went unanswered as you remained unconscious, thin, reedy breaths being the only sound you produced.  There were no healers in your group--all you had were petty vulneraries.  Gritting his teeth, Lon'qu stood up and scanned the village, its residents trickling out of their houses to see what had happened. 

"Is there anyone here who's a doctor!?" he asked, his hands holding you in a vice grip.  He didn't think of how intimidating he might have looked to the villagers, covered in the blood of the bandit he had just killed, the body lying behind him, hacked to ribbons. 

One finally stepped forward, a lanky, middle-aged man with a dark beard and deep-set eyes.  "I can help her," he said clearly.  "Bring her to my house, this way!" 

Lon'qu ran to the doctor's house without another word, leaving Chrom to give orders to the Shepherds to round up the surviving bandits and make sure that the villagers were okay. 

Inside the doctor's house was a high bed with clean linens spread over it that was ready to receive patients at all times.  As instructed, Lon'qu laid you down on your uninjured side while the doctor rushed to grab his tools. 

"My name is Herv, by the way," the older man said out of courtesy. 

"I don't care, just save her," Lon'qu snapped distractedly. 

Herv said nothing, not at all offended.  His profession had long since made him immune to acerbic behaviour. 

"Why is she wearing such heavy clothing in this heat?" the doctor asked incredulously, unfastening the clasps that kept your robe closed.

"I--I don't know," Lon'qu said, looking you over for any other wounds you might have. 

Shaking his head, Herv tossed the robe onto a nearby chair.  A part of Lon'qu's mind noticed that you were not wearing the low-cut tunic that you normally did, but a far more conservative yet fitted shirt with a high neckline. 

With an experienced hand, the doctor inspected where the bandit had cut you, the wound tracing from near your shoulder blade down to your ribs just below the armpit. 

"Strange, the wound's not that deep," Herv mumbled.  "It shouldn't be enough for her to look this bad."  Lon'qu frowned as he saw that the doctor was right--there was not a lot of blood coming out of your wound, yet from the ghostly pallor of your skin he would have believed otherwise. 

The arrival of Chrom interrupted Lon'qu's thoughts while Herv picked up a pair of shears.  "How is she?" the young Lord asked worriedly.  "Will she be all right?" 

"Just hang on," Herv said as he cut through the side of your shirt.  He appeared far more confident now, as if he'd figured something out.  When he peeled the back part away, everyone stilled. 

Underneath your shirt was a long length of wide bandages, wrapped around your chest to flatten them.  The flesh above and below them pinched out as an indication of how tightly the bindings were tied, and a profuse amount of perspiration beaded around the area.  A section of ragged bandages, bright with blood, marked the point of your injury. 

It took Herv some effort to work the edge of his shears in between the bandages, but when he finally managed and made the first few cuts, there were instant results as the restrictive bindings snapped away and loosened, and your breasts were given the freedom to push out from their suffocating state.  It only took a few seconds before your breathing became easy and relaxed again, but the angry red indents in your skin would take a bit longer to disappear. 

Placing a cloth over your front, Herv preserved your modesty as he cleaned the wound and patched it up.  When he was done, he gently pulled the cut up bindings away and discarded them, and got a clean rag from a wooden box on the mantle. 

"She's fine," Herv confirmed to the two worried men, bringing a basin of water to the table.  "She was suffering more from those bindings and the heat than the stab wound, really; wasn't doing her lungs any favours, and wearing that robe overtop while running around fighting?  It was only a matter of time before she'd conk herself out."  He soaked the rag and squeezed the excess water out of it, then began wiping down your face and neck.  "Let her rest and cool off a bit.  Give her lots of water to drink when she wakes up, and she'll be good as new soon enough."

"You have my thanks, doctor," Chrom sighed with relief.  

"It's the least I can do, your Highness," Herv said with a small bow.  "If it weren't for you Shepherds and your tactician here, those bandits would have picked our village clean again.  Just tell her not to bind herself so tightly next time, all right?"

****

The rest of the day was much quieter. 

Upon interrogating the few bandits that were alive, Chrom and the others tracked down their hideout and recovered the village's food and supplies, as well as some treasures and valuables that had been sacked from other towns.  The other groups of Shepherds soon arrived, and while they all became concerned when they were told of your injury, Chrom's assurances calmed them down.  Lissa cast her strongest healing spell to cure your wound, and after Herv gave you another once-over, he gave the okay for you to be moved to your tent that had been set up outside of the village with the other Shepherds'. 

Lon'qu kept himself busy, organizing the troops with Frederick, assigning messengers to notify neighbouring villages of their stolen goods being found, feeding the horses, cleaning the blood off of his clothes, and peeling potatoes and other vegetables to be used in the stew for supper, but he did not go to see you. 

He was sitting on a flat rock sharpening his sword when Chrom came up to him.  The sun had just set, and the cooling air was a welcome blessing. 

"What are you doing here?" the Prince asked with an edge to his voice. 

"It should be obvious," Lon'qu said dryly. 

"Why haven't you gone to see her?" 

Lon'qu stopped what he was doing and set down his whetstone.  "Her health is in no danger, and the cause of her discomfort has been removed."

"I wonder," Chrom retorted.  Lon'qu looked up; it was becoming dark outside, but he could still make out a glint in Chrom's eyes. 

"...What do you mean by that?" 

Chrom's features hardened like steel as he stepped closer.  "Did you not question why she's done the things she did recently?  The cutting of her hair, taking lessons from Gregor, keeping herself covered even when it's sweltering, the binding of her chest?  It's all for your sake, Lon'qu."

Lon'qu narrowed his eyes.  "Ridiculous.  What would be the point of doing such things?" 

"She's been wracking her brain trying to come up with ways to help you get over your aversion to women.  She trained to become a better swordsman so that you could share a common ground, and she changed her appearance to make things easier for you.  And now she's become injured by trying to protect you.  It's not like I expect none of us to ever get hurt while we are Shepherds, but the least you could do is acknowledge her feelings." 

 _"Feelings?"_ Lon'qu repeated, his face feeling warm.  "She cannot have feelings for me.  It is you that she has in her thoughts." 

"But you are the one in her heart," Chrom said.  "When those two bandits were about to attack you, she ran to save you without a care for her own safety.  Her, our diligent tactician who's meticulousness is unmatched when it comes to keeping everyone out of danger.  Go and see her.  And in case you are still considering to not do so, that is an order."

****

You sluggishly opened your eyes to see the beige canvas ceiling of your tent.  With a groan and several blinks, you sat up from your narrow bed, halting at the stiffness in your back.  The events from earlier drifted back into your mind as you reached behind to gingerly touch at where you had been attacked.  The skin there was now healed thanks to Lissa's curative spell. 

Only then did it hit you that you were no longer wearing your high-necked top or your bindings, but were back in your sleeveless tunic again, your breasts no longer squashed beneath the tight bandages.  You sighed deeply with relief, relishing the feeling of not being so confined anymore. 

The rest of your body was clean and dry, thanks to Cordelia giving you a gentle sponge bath (as she didn't feel that Tharja could be trusted to the task without acting on any ulterior motives), and your leggings were the only other article of clothing you had on.  Your tent held back the darkness of night outside with a few lamps, one on the table where you drew up your plans, and a smaller one on the stand by your bed, along with a glass of water.  You drank it down thirstily.

A mild breeze drifted in through the tent flaps that you found especially soothing. 

"Are you awake?" came a voice from outside.  Your heart stumbled over its regular beat as you knew who it belonged to. 

"Yes," you said meekly, swiveling to bring your feet down to touch the ground. 

With hesitation, Lon'qu pushed the tent flap aside and stepped in, looking rigid and uncomfortable.  The feeling was mutual, as you bit your lip and stared at your hands in your lap. 

"You're okay," you said, hardly a question. 

"Yes, thanks to you.  ...Thank you."

"Ah, y-you're welcome." 

It was the most painfully awkward conversation you had had in a while.  For a while you said nothing. 

"Here, how about I do this," you suddenly said, hopping to your feet and walking over to the lamp on your table.  With a squeaky twist of the knob, the flame dimmed considerably until it was a tiny mote of light, and the interior of the tent dipped into shadow, aside from the dim glow of your bedside lamp. 

"See!  This way, it'll be easier for you to talk to me.  If you can't see me, you won't get distracted by the fact that I'm a woman, right--"

"Stop it." 

The firmness of those two spoken words cut you off immediately.  You could make out a hand coming up to brush through a head of short, black hair nervously.  A sigh huffed out. 

"Stop sacrificing your well-being for my sake.  I am not a child.  Do not coddle me."

"I just... I just want you to be comfortable around us.  We must be able to work together." 

The dark outline of Lon'qu came closer with a footstep.  "We have been.  And even I was surprised how much better I was getting at... being around women." 

"Except me," you said quietly, looking down.  

He came closer again.  "No... You as well.  Your insane tactics worked in distracting me, and I became more used to having you near me." 

Your heartbeat was picking up speed.  "So what changed?"

Another footstep, this time covering more ground, as you suddenly found Lon'qu, red-faced, standing within arm's reach of you. 

" _You_ became the distraction."

You stared at him, your eyes large and round.  Despite the fact that you had your tunic and leggings on, you felt weirdly exposed. 

Lon'qu had to resist the urge to turn away as he spoke with a clumsy cadence.  "I started to notice you more and more... and then saw you even when you were not around.  It was... it was as though you had cast some spell on me to turn me into a fumbling fool." 

He inched closer, fists clenched at his sides.  "It made me angry... I was suddenly... _weak,_ and stupid, and I took it out on you.  But when you were attacked by those bandits, I did not think of my skills as a swordsman, or protecting Ylisse, but only the terrible idea that I might lose you."  In all of his years, Lon'qu had never imagined he would be saying the things he was now.

Your breathing hitched in your throat.  "Lon'qu, are you... are you saying that..."

"I hated myself for letting you get hurt.  I felt that I failed you, and could not bring myself to see you." 

With an unsteady hand, he gently brushed your hair aside as he cupped your face.  His palm, coarse and hard with calluses, felt very warm.  He looked afraid, and achingly vulnerable, but his warrior's resolve kept him on his course. 

"To be without you is a million times worse.  I... I love you."  Torment then took over Lon'qu's face.  "But... I will not be one to steal another man's woman."

He removed his hand, and your cheek suddenly felt lacking.  "What...?" you said slowly, unsure at what he was talking about. 

He looked hurt.  Were you going to make him say it? 

"You... love Chrom, do you not?"  A part of him wished you would not answer. 

Understanding flowed into you, along with a calm boldness.  "Yes, I love Chrom.  I love Lissa, and Frederick, and Nowi and Henry and all of the other Shepherds.  I love Chrom a little more, perhaps; he will always be dear to me.  But with you...  When I say that I love _you_ , Lon'qu, those words take on a far greater weight."

Lon'qu's eyes widened and his brows went up.  Had his hearing become warped? 

You were blushing now, but you had gotten this far, and you did not want to lose momentum.  "I thought... if I cut my hair and hid my breasts, I might look more like a boy and I could get closer to you and _know_ you.  When we were in the river, I knew then that I wasn't just doing those things to help you with your fear.  I did them because I love you.  So much more and differently than I do anyone else, that it scares me." 

You were both paralyzed by each other's admission, for a while only able to stare.  But longing and desire started to surface, and tentatively, you both closed the distance between you, breaths coming and going fast.  Your raised your chin, and saw his lips quivering, the same as yours were.  He bent his head a little more, and kissed you. 

He did not quite hit the mark, his lips missing your lower mouth, but the contact was still enough to make you both gasp.  Without thinking, you moved towards him and kissed him back, and you opened your mouths again, stunned at how much of an effect this was having.  The third time, you did not pull apart, and spent time learning the feel of him. 

Lon'qu then pushed towards you, operating on an instinct he did not know he had.  It felt better than the feather touches.  You pushed back, deepening the kiss, and gently sucked on his lower lip.  That felt better still, for both the giver and the receiver.  Lon'qu's tongue flicked between your lips.  You almost opened your eyes in amazement, but you had already responded by opening your mouth and meeting his tongue with yours.  It was a strange sensation, but only for a second, then became nothing but a shared pleasure, making you dizzy. 

Lon'qu brought his hands to your face, admiring the feel of your soft skin.  His fingers combed through your hair, and of their own accord, started to slide down over your shoulders.  Somewhere around this point he scolded himself for taking so long to understand that he had been wrong when he accused you of wearing perfume--that captivating scent that had thrown him off was your very own, not something that came in a bottle.  It made him sigh into your mouth as his touch roamed over your back and hips.  Not wanting to be left behind, you circled your arms around him as well, pulling him closer as your tongues became less fearful with each other. 

You were becoming noisier, your voices seeping into each gasp and sigh which built into moans.  When Lon'qu finally broke the kiss, you were both breathless and hot, though this time there was no desert heat, and your chest was not bound. 

Lon'qu looked torn, desire and doubt warring in his mind.  "When I said that I would never feel at ease around you," he rasped, unable to ignore your breasts heaving underneath your tunic, "I meant that whenever I am around you, I...  No matter how short your hair is or how much you bind your chest, it is impossible for me to see you as anything but a woman.  I want to touch you, and learn your body, and these thoughts consume me and it makes me... messy."

He was practically stammering, and flushing so red, but you found his stark honesty adorable, and his words arousing.  A tingly ache was between your thighs, and only he could fix it. 

"You can touch me wherever you want," you said, and you took a step back so that he could see you completely as you pulled off your leggings and underwear and lifted your tunic up over your head, before dropping it on the ground. 

You could feel your nipples hardening in the air, and the ache in your lower body was intensifying, making you curl your toes.  You wanted so badly to go to him and make him start touching you, but you didn't want to scare him, so you stayed where you were, self-conscious about your nudity but in turn noticing yourself becoming wet at the knowledge that you were being stared at by the man you loved. 

"I love you, Lon'qu," you whispered, exhilarated to get to say those words out loud.  "I'm all yours." 

As if triggered by your voice, Lon'qu came close and kissed you again, but he did not keep his mouth there, instead starting to moved down along the side of your neck.  Your head rolled back and shivered when his hands familiarized themselves with your thighs and rear end, progressing to your stomach and climbing up to your breasts.  You were helpless as he circled his palms over them, lifting and weighing each one, twirling his thumbs over the tiny pebbles on top.  When he withdrew from your kiss, you made a petulant sound, but then he lowered his head to lick at your nipple and all was forgiven.  You needed to clamp your hand over your mouth in an effort to keep quiet, but Lon'qu was making it _extremely_ hard with his wonderful mouth suckling on you.  Growing in confidence, he sucked harder, and you yelped. 

He stopped and turned up to look at you.  "Did I hurt you?" 

It was the most absurd thing he could have asked. "No!" you said insistently, possessed by the feeling of his body on you.  

You knew there was more, and now you were starting to become impatient.  Lon'qu stood back up again, and even in the dark you could see his face saturated with desire.  You rested your hands on his chest, keenly aware of his erection straining against his pants. 

"Show me?" you said, and he nodded, gulping.  You let him do most of the work in undressing himself, but as soon as each vambrace, pauldron and belt was detached, you were quick to take them from his hands and let them fall to the ground, eager to see his body. 

Finally he was naked, and your eyes greedily took in the sight on him as best as you could in the limited light.  He did not have the hulking frame of Gregor or the stocky, solid build of Kellam, but he was incredibly fit and lean, consisting of hard muscle that resulted from his vigilant training.  Your gaze fell downward, and swallowed to see his swollen cock, standing straight up like it was staring at you. 

You glanced at Lon'qu's face for permission, and got an embarrassed grunt in reply.  You inhaled slowly, curling your fingers around his length and gingerly rubbing up and down.  Lon'qu hissed through his teeth, and you looked up at him again. 

"Is it all right?" you asked anxiously.  "I've never done this before so I don't know what I'm doing."

"Yes, you do," Lon'qu groaned, not noticing that he was rolling his hips into your hand as you stroked him.  It was mesmerizing to see him so affected by you, and you were thrilled with a sense of power. 

You kissed him again, and by now neither of you were nervous in doing it.  Kissing you while having his cock stroked was driving Lon'qu insane, but when you took his hand and touched it to your wet entrance, his heart skipped a beat, maybe two. 

You slowly led him to your bed and lay down while he was on his knees leaning over you.  You were glad it was dark in the tent; it was easier for you to spread open your legs and trace his fingers around your folds. 

"I don't want to wait anymore," you said, pulling him in. 

Lon'qu's fingers easily entered you, being coated in moisture.  "You're too small," he said, his voice betraying his lust, "I'll hurt you." 

"I don't care.  I just want you." 

He still looked unsure, but positioned himself between you with your hips raised up and legs on either side of him, and he began to push inside.  You mewled and arched your back, tensing.  Lon'qu ground his teeth in his struggle to go slowly, but reason slipped away and he grunted as he plunged all the way into you. 

You cried out sharply, unprepared for how much he was stretching you.  You heard Lon'qu saying your name and looked at him--he looked terribly remorseful and guilty. 

"Forgive me," he bit out, sweat beading over his brow.  "I... I did not have enough control."  Even now, he was trembling, fighting to not simply start plowing into your delicious center. 

You shook your head, feeling yourself relax as you adapted to having him in you.  "No, no... it doesn't really hurt." A couple of breaths, then, "Let me feel you more, please?" 

Lon'qu shut his eyes, holding back a shudder. The things you were saying to him were unbearable. He kissed you, and began to push in and out of you, as slow and gentle as ocean waves.  You marveled at how wonderful he felt, how amazing it was to have him with you, holding onto you and caressing you with his lips, his chest brushing against your nipples with each stroke. The sound of a siren's moans entered your ears, and you were stricken to realize that it was your own voice. 

Gradually Lon'qu began to quicken his pace, his powerful hands moving to grip your hips for better leverage.  A font of pleasure was bubbling up within you, and you were aware that you were heading somewhere, though not sure where that was or what it would mean when you got there.  You both struggled to keep your voices down but were failing in this endeavor as you were losing yourselves to the beautiful feel of each other.   

"I love you... I love you," Lon'qu repeated your name over the sound of your tiny bed shaking, and you suddenly threw your head back, keening as every nerve in your body was electrified and your flesh burned in bliss.  The clamping of your walls on Lon'qu's cock shattered what little restraint he had left, and he grunted deeply as he shot his release into you for a surprisingly long time.  Once you had milked him dry, he collapsed on top of you, still trembling.  His weight was strangely comforting, and you ran your hand through his rough hair affectionately. 

Soon he regained enough strength to roll off of you, and you shuffled around on your crowded bed to lay with part of your body over his.  You felt his come spilling out of you, oozing over your thighs and onto the sheets, and though it embarrassed you, it made you even happier to know that you had made him feel so good. 

You reached out and took his hand, intertwining your fingers. 

"So... are you at ease with me now?" you asked after a while. 

There was a pause, then an indignant huff from Lon'qu.  "No," he mumbled.  "If anything, it's worse."

Your face fell, then you gasped as you were yanked up onto your elbows to face him.  He was blushing furiously, but looked straight into your eyes as he spoke. 

"I've become addicted to you.  I feel as though I need to do this with you all the time, every day, just to keep my sanity." 

You saw that his eyes were restless again, as he summoned the courage to speak.  "And maybe, in time..." he trailed off.

You nodded encouragingly, wanting to hear the rest.  "In time...?" you coaxed. 

"Never mind," came the stammered reply.

"No, tell me!  'In time...'?"

Lon'qu cleared his throat, then pulled you down to hide his face as he nuzzled your neck, muttering, "Maybe in time we can... do this with the lamps on so that I can see you clearly.  All of you."

Now it was your turn for your face to go red. 

"...Do you still want to help me feel at ease?" the Myrmidon asked, nervousness seeping into his voice again.

Rather than say anything, you leaned forward and kissed him passionately.  When you separated, Lon'qu was smiling at you. 

Despite what Lon'qu said, he looked peaceful, content, happy. 

Warmth blossomed in your heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HNNNNnnnnggggg, over 12,000 words!? Lon'qu, why you gotta take so long with the drama and smut!?
> 
> I did not anticipate this story becoming this bloated, guys. Apologies if it was too long for you. That said, I did enjoy writing it, despite my sore shoulder from being at the computer for too long! It's quite likely that in the future we will see this version of Lon'qu and the Avatar/Reader again, if people are interested enough!


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